Update

Mike and I had a great week and weekend, last week.  Mike went to MN on Tuesday after work.  After the home inspection and work I headed to the train station on Wednesday.  The train ran a bit behind, but I slept good on it and I got to the church 15 minutes before the funeral began, thanks to my mom and the GPS.  We had a great time hanging out with Mike's Family.  His Aunt Pam was back from Indonesia, his brother Jory came back from training with Army and the usual gang were all there. After saying good bye to Grandpa I, the funeral and burial we hung out at Grandma I's house, which had a ton of food and relatives.  

Mike, Matt, Tasha, Jory and Preston

Friday we went to the MOA, took his other brother Jeff out to lunch, walked around IKEA, discovered LUSH (www.lush.com) , and then headed to Minneapolis to visit the family again. Friday night we played dominoes with Lauren, Rachel and my mom.  It was a ton of fun. Saturday we had to get up and head back to ND. Mike had to work Sunday.  Over all our trip home was great, but a little sad, and short.

Mike and I

This past week was also busy week.  Tuesday and Wednesday I was in Bismarck for a work orientation. It was informative but a bit boring, I did find out that if I work there for the next 30 years, I can retire at 55 with full benefits!  Which would be pretty sweet. Today, Friday, Mike and I slept in! It was great, then we took the dog for a walk. After our walk we went and looked at a bunch of stores to get ideas about the house. Then we went to a few rummage sales, to look for things for the house.  We ended up getting one thing for the house, a dish drying rack for the kitchen. I also found the sheet music for the Entertainer. Mike found some thing he HAD to HAVE. A belt buckle from the Police Departments 100 year anniversary, from 1994.  It is pretty cool.  Tomorrow we plan to hit up some more rummage sales, go to a friends party, and take the dog on a walk.  I hope everyone has a great memorial day weekend.

Mixed Emotions

The past few days have been full of mixed emotions.  About many things.  The house, Grandpa I, making sure we can make it home plus get everything together for the house, how Grandma I is doing and sending prayers for peace. 

First an foremost Mike is taking off for Minnesota tonight after work.  He will stay with my cousins in Moorhead before heading to Minneapolis in the morning. I will be taking the train on Wednesday night and getting to St. Paul on Thursday morning early.  The funeral is on Thursday at 11:00 am with a viewing at 10:00.  Mike will be wearing his dress uniform.  I can't wait to give Grandma I and Mike Sr both a big big hug. (I am so glad that we are closer to "home" and we can easily make to there vs. living in Alaska.)

On to a house update:
Yesterday I went to the bank and signed a boat load of papers for the loan.  Then brought them home for Mike to sign, since he had to work late.  We have locked in our interest rate at a very good rate of 4.25%!  Next we have our home inspection which I also have mixed emotions on.  It will begin on Wednesday at 9:00 am.  I will be "attending" the whole thing, measuring the rooms and taking a TON of pictures.  I am super excited to get back in the house and explore a little more but at the same time I am super nervous that the home inspection is going to find a deal breaker.  Now, don't get me wrong, if there is something wrong with the house we want to know about it.  But at the same time I really hope and pray that nothing will show up, because if there is something wrong than we have to start over... which would be a pain because currently there are no other homes on the market in our price range that we would consider.    I really do not want to let this one get away because it is well under our budget and we can really make it our own.  

I will post some pictures after the home inspection... wish us luck 

Pictures from MN

These picture are from 2 weekends ago when we went to Minnesota.  We had a great time eating,visiting and spending quality time with our families.

Preston being a goofy

Brittany and Wyatt

Wyatt and Megan

Wyatt and Preston, I love this picture with them both in flannel

Dennis and Mike

Java Kitty, how I miss you...

Willow and Cora waiting for a treat.

On the way home we saw a train that actually had a caboose 

Yeah we had to drive through some water on the road home... Here is a semi blazing though.

Weekend Over Already

I think weekends go by way to fast. Mike is working nights this weekend, which means I see him for dinner and that is about it. Yesterday I went to the gym and had a scrapbooking get together last night. Today I went to church and then taught Sunday school, we had 6 kids this week. Then I went to Dairy Queen as the youth were having a fundraiser there. They got 10% of the profits of ALL sales between 11 and 2 today so really I HAD to go... haha. This afternoon I did a load of laundry and scrapbooked some more. We had some yummy spaghetti for dinner with yellow peppers, turkey, and onions. Not much else is going on. This week will be busy. I have a dead line at work Tuesday so I will be working late tomorrow. Then Thanskgiving is Thursday with Samantha and Hans.

I will leave you a few pictures of our kayaking adventure and trip to the cabin when we were in MN.

Nine Months

Yesterday was the 9 month Anniversary of Callens passing.  Let me tell you it still stinks.  I miss him every day.  and I know these next 2 months are going to be really hard with Thanksgiving and Christmas without him.  When we were home Mike and I went and visited the "Callen Tree" at a local park in Lakeville that his friends stated for him.  We painted on it I painted a Tree and said that I loved him and Mike wrote "Give what you Can" and drew a Ying Yang.  My friend Lauren McKinney who is awesome took some pictures of us at the park.  Here is one of my favorites in front of his tree.

Miss you Callen XOXO

I found this quote today

“I am responsible.
Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening,
I am responsible for my attitude toward
the inevitable misfortunes that darken life.
Bad things do happen;
how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life.
I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness,
immobilized by the gravity of my loss,
or I can choose to rise from the pain
and treasure the most precious gift I have –
life itself.”

~ Walter Anderson

I like it...

Hello again

We are back from Minnesota

Well actually the picture above is from Wisconsin at my parents Cabin but we are back in Alaska.  We had a great trip home seeing family, friends, and learning how to drum better.  I loved meeting our nephew Wyatt from the first time. 

We spent a bunch of time up at the cabin with my parents

The weather was amazing.

Two Years

Two years ago today I married the man of my dreams.
After 7 years of dating and a 3 year engagement we were beyond ready.
Everything was planned, and then planned again.
The only thing up in the air was the weather, which turned out sunnier and warmer then expected, for a September day in Minnesota.
I got to the church at 9am to get my hair done by my brides maids sister. It turned out perfect.
Mike and his dad made it to the church early!
We loaded up the cars and headed down to the park for pictures.
The look on Mikes face when he saw me was perfect.
I love the way the pictures in the garden turned out.
We headed back to the church took a few family photos in side and Grandma Bjerke had a light lunch for the wedding party.
The ceremony went by so fast.
We did a sand ceremony and Callen played "We're Going to be Friends"
We had an awesome "limo" for the wedding party.
And a group of us headed to TGI Fridays for a drink and the park for some fun pictures before heading to the barn.
We had our pig roast for dinner and then danced the night away!
We grabbed 2 hours of shut eye before heading to the airport for 10 days in Maine!

Now here we are TWO YEARS later.
I have no clue where I would be with out Mike today.
He is truly my other half.
He knows when I have had a bad day by my voice or by the way I am standing.
He can make me laugh and smile any day.
We truly work better together.
I love you Mike, here is to another 50 years of wedded bliss.

In Seattle.

Mike's Tattoo

The Key Chain

The Necklace

The turtle

We are at the Seattle Airport, at a restaurant called the Alaska Lodge. I got a vodka Collins and Mike got a Bacardi and Coke. So we have decided we are both getting tattoos. Mike knows what he wants... I think it is the first one on the page. I still do not know what I want. I have a few options, they are the ones that follow the first one. I think I want it on my foot, yes I know it hurts to get a tattoo on your foot, yes I know it hurts to get a tattoo on your foot, but I want to get a tattoo on a place I can see it... without a mirror. I want one to remember Callen with it. So I have a few ideas, the one is the necklace he always wore. Another is the Celtic stamp he wore on one of his key changes. The final one is the one he drew a lot and had a stamp made of... I do not have a picture of it on me but I will post it later. The circle ones I thought I could put they symbol on a turtle shell, since that is what I originally wanted, before this happened. I wanted some thing like the last picture. But I don't know, the non circular one would look really cool along the side of my foot.

p.s. this is posted Sunday... since Saturday my Internet crapped out at the airport.

Leaving

We have to leave tomorrow. Go back to Alaska where only a few people know what we have been through in the last 2 weeks. I am ready to get back to work and have something other than Callen consume my head, but it is going to be hard. I am excited to get back to the beautiful views like this. Samantha will be in Arizona for a while, which will be hard but I will stay busy with work, getting back to running, and church. I also think I am going to try a intro to yoga class at a yoga studio near our house... maybe that we help with my back and stress levels.

Keep the prayers coming tomorrow is going to be tough.

Tired

I am tired of this. I just want Callen to walk back in the door and for life to go on like it always has. I don't like being sad. Felling weird. Not being able to sleep. I hate being so sad that I have to leave my parents TOMORROW! I know I have lots of support in Alaska. I know that I can see my parents every day on Skype but it is not the same as getting a big hug. OR drinking our morning coffee together (yes I am aware this statement makes be sound like I am 83 vs. 23). I have been trying to distract my self with other thing like:

• Mom is teaching be how to make a knitted/felted bag.
• Writing in 2 journals (1-memories, 1-angry) plus the blog
• visiting friends, family and neighbors in MN
• Going to the zoo with Kia and Landon.
• and of course zoning in to all the Olympic Coverage

But when I try to go to sleep at night my head spins...When will it stop spinning?

Little Things

I hate these little things that remind me of Callen... For example today we are at Mall of America. Mom and I go into Achievers to look for some scrapbooking stuff. We are looking through the $1.99 bins and I see a stack of Spiderman Stickers in my mine I see this, complete with pink slipper. Then we walk past the Crocks Store and see little spiderman Crocks, again I see this complete with Pink slippers. I miss Callen so much. I wish he were there to look at the crocks and stickers.

I know little things will ALWAYS remind me of Callen. It is good but right now it makes me angry and sad... asking why.

Tears

Today we slept in! It felt great to sleep until 10. We worked on writing out some thank you notes. Then walked to the post office to buy some stamps. Mikes Bro, Jeff, Picked him up to go to Minneapolis tonight to hang out with friends. Then Rachel came over and we went out to dinner at one of Callen's favorite restaurants Teresa's. Then....

We had to say bye to Rachel tonight. She is an amazing girl who took Callen's heart for the last almost three years. They are perfect for each other. Callen Loud and Crazy, Rachel a little more reserved but still a little crazy. I think that they just completed each other. Rachel got Callen to come out of his "Black" phase in which he would only wore black. They both have dreads and they made the cutest couple. Rachel and I have vowed to be Sisters for Life. Mom and I both started started crying when we saw her walk out of the house with Callen's Guitar. It makes it just a little more real. I still feel like Callen is going to walk into the house at any time and give me a big hug.

I am still dreading leaving MN. Mike is having fun with his brothers and his friend/Best Man Dennis tonight... I hope I get some sleep. Tomorrow we have a lot going on so we will stay distracted.

Sunday

Preston and I today

Today was better. Mike and I got up and went to his church in Minneapolis with his grandparents. I had a few teary eyed moments but no bawling moments today... yet. I had to say goodbye to Marja this morning... that sucked. I cannot believe the great friend she is. After church we went out to lunch with G&G I to IHOP. It was yummy. We stopped at Target to get some gifts for Preston and then headed to Mikes Parents house. We hug out and played with Preston for 5 hours this afternoon. He has so much energy and was so excited to play with us. We played with stickers, trucks, and a slinky. Mike also played in the snow with Preston and Tasha (Mike's sister). He made us laugh so hard when he was riding on Tashas back like a pony. Tasha started to talk and Preston said " horseys don't talk" Followed by "Horseys don't laugh" We were rolling in laughter.

Tonight we had Brazilian Kibe for dinner brought to us by our friend Merry. Then I looked through hundreds of cards from family and friends. It was so fun to read all the stories and memories. Nicole was over tonight and then I had to say good bye to her too. She gave me a journal to write in... I think I am going to write all the memories and stories I have of Callen in there. Even though some of them I do not remember but have been told so I feel like I was there.

Our awesome friends Hans and Samantha also booked our tickets back to Alaska Last night. We leave Saturday at 6:30... That is going to be so so so so so hard. I am trying to put it in the back of my head but it is going to suck.

New Phone

I finally broke down and ordered a new phone today! I could have ordered a new one back in April but I have been sticking with my current one, Mike switched back in November I think. Any who the past couple weeks my phone has not been holding a charge... at all! We put Mikes old battery in my phone it worked a little better but not much so I went online to Verizon today and signed into our account. I was eligible for a few select free phones. (I have to order it on line since there are no Verizon stores in Alaska!) This is the one I choose to get, it is a LG Glance. I really do not love flip phones (which my current phone is) so this phone looked perfect. It should be here early next week.

One Year Ago

In front of my tree... the day we left for Alaska

In front of the uhaul and the house

In front of the van and uhaul.

One year ago today Mike and I Started our journey from Minnesota to Alaska. We have survived one year living together...with out killing one another. Actually we did not have too bad of a year. Of course there we had a some bumps in the road but all and all it was an uneventful year. I love living with Mike!

To celebrate one year of living together we are going out to eat at the Glacier Brew House Downtown Anchorage. This past year has gone by so fast. We went have been back to MN twice once to get married is September and then again in April for a visit. I hope in this next year more people will come visit us in Alaska.